I honestly can’t believe that the darn bacon is still in the fridge. Can someone please eat it already?!? It looks at me, mocking, tempting me, reminding me of what I can’t have. Sigh. Today has been a good day. I got to spend it with some very good friends. While most people celebrate Valentine’s Day, I celebrate Singleness Awareness Day. Yet another day to be reminded that I’m single. However, I also have to remind myself that I’m single not because I don’t have options. I’m single because I do have options! I’m not going to go into a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. But, I wasn’t going to let this day get me all depressed. So, I went out with two friends and had a great time. We went to an Ethiopian restaurant and had some vegetarian fare. It was a little bit hard opening the menu and seeing the lamb, beef and chicken option and having to say no, no and no to all three. And when we got to the restaurant, I had to resist the urge to check in and claim new points because I was probably “the first of my friends to check-in” at that place. I couldn’t even Instagram my picture. During the ride back home, this random piece of the bus handle hit me in the face as a man tried to use it to steady himself. Instead of helping him remain standing, it flew straight to my face. I couldn’t even tweet my rage! I honestly don’t know how people without social media live. I was secretly hoping that the guy in front of me who saw the whole thing would tweet about it. I guess if I can’t go on social media, I can live vicariously through others.
As I’m going through this period of being refined, it’s hard not to whine and grumble about everything. I’m missing out on this, I’m missing out on that, I can’t have this, I can’t have that. Those seem to be what I constantly feel. However, I also know that as I get rid of the outside noise, I will be able to hear the voice inside with more clarity. The voice is faint, barely a whisper. I can’t wait to hear it speak loudly. I’m not sure what it would tell me to do, but I know that it will tell me not to settle for mediocrity when I was made for excellence. For now, I must content myself with the soft whispers as the outside noise continues to assault my senses.
Join me on this journey.
I have a tendency to complain. I look at the world and I wonder how come I don’t have this or that. I look at people and wish I had what they had. I’m never satisfied. The Bible says that the eyes want a lot of things. It uses the more technical term of “coveting” other stuff. Personally, I’d rather say “I want that” or “I need that” than “I covet that.” It just seems so strong and so wrong. But it is exactly that… very wrong!
The problem with this endless state of wanting and needing is that you end up being unsatisfied ALL THE TIME. It’s only when we take stock of what we actually have that we can start being thankful. One time I was on the bus and just started to think about what I had on me at that time and what startled me was that I easily was worth a thousand bucks. The cost of my shirt, my pants, my underwear, my shoes, my laptop, my iPod touch, and my jewelry combined totalled just about that, if not slightly more. When I say I’m worth a thousand bucks, I sometimes mean it in the most literal sense! It’s in one of those moments of “counting your blessings” that you start realizing how blessed you are. I start thinking of the many Christians who live in oppressive regimes where religious tolerance is more a buzzword than a reality and here I am in a democratically free country. Whenever I hear Christians that say they are being “persecuted” by this post-Christendom society, something within me gets agitated and riled up. At most, what others are doing to you can be called “social ostracism”, NOT persecution. And even then, how much of that is really brought on by your adherence to Christianity versus the fact that your personal attitude towards others border on arrogance and social awkwardness? Are you sure they don’t like you because you’re a Christian or because you act the way you act? (That’s for another blog post!)
This Thanksgiving weekend, I choose to be thankful. I’m thankful for my family who supports me, my friends who are there for me, and for my God who redeemed me, loves me, and is so ever patient with me. I’m thankful for people who believe in me. I’m thankful for opportunities that have been given to me. I’m thankful for artists who inspire me and challenges me to hone my craft and drive my desire for excellence. I’m thankful for this life that I have been given.
Who/what are you thankful for?